I've never really been one for giving or receiving gifts on Christmas. Yes, it's tradition, but the holidays have pandered too much to materialistic American consumer and created a holiday that seems to be more about commercialism than spending time with family and friends. But, obligatory anti-commercialist rant aside, I've already decided what I'm going to my kids to be for Christmas.
Each Christmas, I will wrap an elaborate box with cash inside.
Borrrring...but wait
It won't be straight up cash, there will be rules associated with the cash according to the age of the child...
Here we go.
When my kids are learning to read, add and subtract, the rules will be simple:
1. $50 to spend as you wish. You must calculate your total cost on your own. Dad will cover tax. No calculators allowed
2. Naughty vs. Nice penalty: If Naughty, hints will result in $0.50 deduction per hint
As they get older, things will adjust accordingly:
1. $$ to spend as you wish. You must calculate tax on your own
2. You may choose to pool some or part of your $$ with a sibling. A 25% increase will be applied to the pooled amount
...
1. $$ to spend as you wish. If you choose not to spend $$ immediately, you may collect 20% compounded monthly for up to 10 years.
It gets better...
1. Starting on Dec 1st 00:00:01, you will get $$ according to the function y = 8/t (or a different equation) where y is the dollar amount you will get at t seconds after. For example, at 00:00:02 you will get 8$. At 00:00:03 you will get an additional 4$ for a total of $12. At any point up until Dec 25th 11:59:59, you may "cash out" provided you correctly tell me how much you are owed. ( LOL, integrals...)
You get the idea...
At some point, I expect my kid to be better at math than me, so I will try and come up with more puzzles/riddles/etc.
The point is not to be an evil parent, but to have fun with my kids and get them to appreciate their gifts while learning simultaneously.
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